Cold, Cold Monday in Heumaden...............

Guten Tag,

One month from today we head home. It seems like it was only July and I had arrived. I had awaited that day for so long. Where does time go? I waste so much time. God has revealed that to me as I have set here with Him for these past few months. I am so excited about going home via Hawaii...I just cannot wait to see those 9 smiling faces. To sit and watch them...what joy! But I plan to make the best of these last 30 days here in Germany. I pray I will come back again someday but that is only for God to know and I thank Him for giving me this time. I am truly one blessed human being and even in my blahs, like I am having today...I know what the blessings I have been given.

I learned something along time go. When I ask someone how they are I REALLY want to know how they are? I use to say nothing when asked this question but nowadays I tell the truth and boy is is interesting. I must say most of the time people on the whole do not want to hear about you...they say oh that is to bad....and continue their conversations mostly about themselves. What if God did this everytime we went to Him? I also learned along time ago, there is NO way we bother God. He loves it, He cherishes those moments we come and want to be with Him and Him alone. That is one of things He has been teaching me as I have spent a lot of alone time here in Germany. Most of the time I have squandered on myself and some pretty lame things. I could say that is human nature but I will not allow myself that excuse...it was just pure laziness and I suppose I did not want to hear the truths He was trying to teach me. He is always trying to teach us something else...I learned that along time ago,too.  I have manipulate my life for me most of the time and that is something God has really managed to show me these past few months. I am at the best time of my life and have so much time to give and give of myself and my time. I have one friend, Karenn, who I absolutely admire because she ALWAYS has time for someone else and their needs. She has such heart and is such a servant. She has set a good example and I pray I can be more like Karenn...NOT...be Karenn that is not what I am saying...just like what she shows me with her life.

Today is cold, very cold, very cloudy and it is 4:10 and almost dark. It will be dark until 8AM in the morning which makes for very long nights. Tomorrow night we are going to go down to the Christmas Market for dinner. Not many more opportunities for these kinds of outings. I am sitting here drinking Christmas Tea and listening to Mannheim Steamroller ...love them... think I go now and have some more time in the Word before Lennie gets home....

Tschuss
Debby

I miss them.......................

Guten Tag,

Each day the heart is growing more anxious to spend some time with these sweeties. I miss them more than words can say. Not only these three sweeties but David, Jacob, Elijah and Malia who we hardly know. Lennie and I have been so blessed by family. We have had so many wonderful Christmas traditions through the years that sitting here in the land of "Christmas" it seems very, very lonely because what truly matters is not here. Thank God I have my Lennie and that is number one but everything else seems so unimportant.

It is time to make gingerbread houses, make and decorate Christmas cookies and get sick from eating to much icing and sprinkles. To sing carols and go into KC to Crown Center and eat lunch where are meals are delivered to us from a train on its on choo choo train track. Traditions...they are so so important. When I grew-up and left home I remember the first Christmas I had by myself in San Francisco, as different from Warsaw, Indiana as you could get. I spent the day on the beach and we decorated a tree limb with shells and seaweed....we made the best with what we had..ha. But I was miserable because the traditions I was use to were not there. That day I realized what really mattered was that you are not alone and you begin to share in other traditions, not just your own.

Through the years we spent more time in desert climate than "winter" climate for our Christmas's. That did never stop us from keeping our traditions even putting the air conditioner on one Christmas morning so it would be really really cold, anything to make it feel cold.. What is interesting this kind of climate was more familiar with my children than cold and snow! We got that only when we went home to Nebraska or Indiana for Christmas. Boy do we have some memories from some of those trips but that is for another day. So many of the girl's traditions come from those two places ...Grandma Anna's and Grandma Jane's....so many of things we still do today come from the memories of those two ladies. But my memories come mostly from my Mom and Grandma Burkhart...oh now those two ladies knew how to do Christmas.

I guess today I am feeling a bit homesick and am desiring the familiar. I not only miss my family but I miss my friend's who I also have traditions with. Lord, today I thank you for all the precious and wonderful memories of tradition I have been given. So I turn on my Christmas music that I have recorded from itunes and CBN radio, fix me a cup of Christmas Tea and meditate upon the many blessings of Christmas I have been given.

Christmas love,

Debby

random thoughts...........

Guten Tag,

I was told recently by someone that I am selfish, braggadocios, and a hypocrite. So instead of being angry about it I chose to go to my Father and ask Him for the truths and ask forgiveness of my humanness. I became a Christian almost 40 years ago and everyday has been two steps forward and some days, weeks, months....10 steps back but I have always tried to continue forward, even the times I have stumbled. I understand when God says that know one knows our hearts like He does. I have done alot of bad things in my life and have been very transparent about them. I was a liar, an adulteress, a thief, a poor daughter at times, envious and jealous of others that truly took the joy right from my heart. I lived for years with anger and hatred.

The longer I have known the Lord the more I have come to realize that He knew I would have all these faults as He created me in my mamma's womb. Making no excuses for my faults or choices these are the things that have made me who I am today. I hopefully have learned and grown but I still am frail in my humanity. I was told that I am ashamed of where I come from. Anyone that knows me well, and has know me for along time, knows I love the family I came from and also know that was also part of God's plan. I talk fondly of my youth, my mom and dad and my siblings. Families are complicated and what is amazing how we can all be raised with the same morals, values, and even same mom and dad and still have a different view of how life was and is.

Anyone knows me, even for a few moments, knows I love BIG, and I care deeply for those who God puts in my path. I have had many sandpaper people in my life but realized they were there for ME to learn to handle confrontation and to most of all love unconditionally as God first loved me. I have been blessed to be a mentor to many but again in frailty I have not always been what they needed me to be to them. I think I am good friend, now. I did not use to be. I was a terrible friend as a kid and as a young adult because it was all about me and what I could get from any situation. I could manipulate any situation and still must be careful today to make sure my motives are pure. And often, I hate to admit, I must reevaluate those motives. I use to hate I was wrong...still do not like it but .....I know I have made lots of ugly mistakes and said some pretty stupid and foolish things...in the name of God! Thank you Lord that you are a God of mercy and grace! As 1 John 1:9 says, "if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse of all our unrighteousness."

I read the scripture this morning in 1 John that said that "This the message you have heard from the beginning. We should love one another. We must not be like Cain who belonged to the evil one and killed his brother. And why did he kill him? Because Cain had been doing what was evil, and his brother had been doing what is righteous. So don't be surprised, dear brothers and sisters, if the world hates you." Oh, how true and why am I always surprised when this happens? Righteousness is not self indulgent it is trying to attain holiness more and more each day so with each day we become more like our Father. This is hard to keep the balance of not overstepping the line and looking self indulgent, pious, holier than thou, but people who do not walk in the light do not understand this. They think we are hypocrites....no just trying to be what I was called to as a Christian who wants to have Him..."increase as I decrease."

I am a poor miserable sinner who was chosen by THE great and mighty God. Whose Son became my Deliverer, Rock, Savior, Counselor, Jehovah Jirah.....etc and etc! I do not deserve what has been given to me but I take it and ask this prayer today and everyday....Lord keep me humble....and you lift me higher and higher as I pray my Light continues to shine.

These thoughts come from a fresh wound that hurts like the dickens but I as I learned along time ago....the truth hurts...so I take these thoughts and use them for growth and hopefully for His honor and glory. Create in me a clean heart oh Lord and renew a right spirit in me. You can take all the bad in the world and make it good...........for your purpose not mine! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH CHRIST JESUS. If He can take me, a broken woman with a rotten heart, and mold me and shape me as only the Potter can...ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

Tshcuss,
Debby

Wednesday in Deutchland

Guten Tag,

I sure was enjoying my Bavarian lunch a week ago today. The time just keeps flying. We sure did enjoy ourselves in Garmisch and thankful for the hospitiality and love of family from the Heckman's. Mags, Killian, and Syiah are amazing and wonderful kids...and so are Joannie and Eric! We got to meet a new friend, Olivia, what a wonderful name. The kids would have been happy if they could have just been left with Olivia and Lennie. My husband is a person that children just gravitate to him....I think they sense the peace and gentleness in him and he just feels safe. That is my Lennie!

We left on Friday at noon for Munich. We were going to have a great time at the Hofbrau Haus and go to the ChristKindel Market but my body had a different plan for me. I had such pain I stayed in bed all day Saturday. Lennie had a terrible sinus headache so we just warmed up in our hotel room bed and watched movies all day! We have been to Munich many times before so we decided this was God's plan for us not our plan! When we got up on Sunday morning I was feeling much less pain and Lennie was not as stuffed. So we ate breakfast and left on the train at noon for home. So our last trip to Munich for awhile was a visit at the Munich Marriott Courtyard....not a bad place it I say so myself...great beds and we caught up on movies...ha!

I must say and I have said it many times before to most of you, I would live in Bavaria if I could. I even suggested to Lennie we sell our house and move to Garmisch. I am serious. There is a peace and beauty there that just brings me to a place with the Lord I sense no where else. This town is magical at night. It truly feels so safe there. It is hard to believe that is was the heart of the Nazi movement and that so many awful things happened in and around there. The people are so friendly and kind and they ALL look like my grandparents'!! The The town lies under the strength of the giant mountain, the Zugspitz, just like in Heidi. That is probably another reason I love it...it is so Heidi! I love Heidi!

We got into the train station at Stuttgart and took the train to our bus stop and than from our bus stop 2 minutes away from home. We were home in 45 minutes from arriving at the train station. Why did America take the trains away and the buses..........only in the big cities....talk about saving money! Now, I am not going to say I do not like a car because there are days I would much rather get in the car and go straight to GO...but only a couple of more months and I will be back to a car and this will all be another memory!

Going to start some baking tomorrow and making candy for Lennie's office. I love doing this and thankful I have someone to do it for. We are still deciding if we are going to get a tree. I suppose we will, just a little one, probably from the florist already decorated. I do not think I could do without one but who knows, I have done with out other things since I have been here. I never thought in a million years I would be able to live without TV...but I have and life is so peaceful...there is that word again. And we only chose to read the news if we so desire. Everytime I read the news my heart is broken...I realized today we put our trust in men and they will probably let you down. We seem to forget without the Lord, and being human, we continue to be sinners. It reminds me of Psalm 2o:7, "Some trust in chariots and other horses, but I trust in the name of the Lord."

Yesterday it was to snow. It snowed about 2 minutes. It is December 2 and we still have not had one snow or a seriously cold day. Lennie said this time last year they were buried under snow and when I came to visit in January the snow was still on the ground. Since I am in Germany for only 42 more days I want snow and lots of it! Please!!!!

That is all for today. I cannot wait until Lennie gets home tonight. My new shipment of books have arrived. I am out of all my reading material. I had to stop reading my book about a first hand account at Auschwitz. I was having nightmares. One of the woman in the camp literally came in her wedding gown, still carrying her wedding bouquet. The SS disrupted her wedding and brought  took the whole wedding party to Auschwitz. They were from the town and many of the towns people, like this lady and her wedding party, were thrown in the camp so the SS could have their homes and businesses as their own! I am getting more and more sensitive in my old age! Some would say I have been over-sensitive my whole life but this was in a selfish way, now it is a compassion I have never sensed before. I ache for what hatred and religion has done in this world and continues on...again as it says in Ecclesiastes..."nothing is new under the sun."

Friends and family do not let the season go to fast...enjoy and remember each day the reason for the season!!

Tschuss,
Debby