The Little Princess

Guten Tag,


Many have asked me of late why I have not been doing my blog? No answer. Just not in me, don't feel like writing, I just do not know. This time around is much different than the last time I was here. The neighborhood is so much different. In the last neighborhood I was literally sitting at the corner of all the action in the village. This neighborhood is at the edge of the busy city, mostly young professionals, restaurants, a very busy street but not to noisy. We live above an Indian Grocery Store and some days the smells coming up from that place almost lure me into the store to ask, "what's for lunch?" 


This brings to mind something I am reminded every time I see the owner of the store. He wears a turban and his big wide belt around his Indian garb, which, ready, puts me right into the movie "The Little Princess." My living room window looks right into his storehouse so I can see him working in there, with more rice then I have seen at one time, ever! Remember when the Little Princess, I forget her name, would sit in her attic room after she was "disposed" of and became the "help" and watch the Indian servant, who eventually befriends her? He is quite and interesting chap and I would love to know his story. On Saturdays, especially, that store is like grand central station. You see German, Indian, Turks, African and who knows who else, coming in and out all day long. Lennie, said last week that we must go down and check the place out, instead of "wondering" and maybe the charming Indian man, with the turban, would befriend us? We shall see.........I shall keep you posted.


I love writing. When I write, something comes from the deepness of my soul. It is the one thing I love to do, but feel very vulnerable. I am, and was not ever an English major. As many of you can tell, by my writing I am sure. I use to be afraid of being put down about my grammar, all those fragmented sentences, when or when not to us a preposition etc. etc..  If I was writing professionally I would have and editor to do that for me, right? I already have a couple of those types for very dear friends and if I drive them  crazy I am sure they will drop a hint or two, ha! What I was getting to, I decided I am not going to worry about that.   I might just be writing for me and God and that is fine because, like exercise for many, writing is a stress release. Also, I do not eat those nasty sweets that tempt me when I am at the computer blogging.  So, God, if it is just you and me, that is just fine because blogging brings me joy! Plus it truly is a way to keep connected to all those I am disconnected from physically. 


Tonight we are having a belated birthday party for Lennie. Just a couple of friend's of his from the office. Lennie will do anything to get pot roast for dinner! The apartment smells so yummy, maybe my Indian neighbor is thinking, " what's for lunch?"


Tschuss!

Well here we go again. I will use this blog, as I did on our last journey, to keep friends and family posted of our adventures. 


Never thought at this time in our life God would give us this opportunity to serve Him. So looking forward to seeing what He has for us. I do know that God has a sense of humor so it could be interesting. We are just thankful that God knew that Lennie would need this job long before Lennie would know! Is that not the way God works. We think we have it all under control but that just keep us in our comfort zones!  


So for the next two days we continue to move stuff into storage. Yesterday and Monday the packers and movers prepared our German move. We are praying for a loft or an apartment in downtown Stuttgart. Being in walking distance to everything would be so wonderful. Living in the old city would be quite an experience for us. 


This was not what I had in mine when I was thinking simplify and downsizing:)

What IF.......

I have not blogged in ages but I need to "talk" this morning.......

Almost everyday I think of blogging because I love to write but it just has not been in me. I have so much on my mind this morning as I prepare for my right knee to be replaced tomorrow morning at 8AM. There have been so many things going through my mind and most of it has been about "what ifs." What if I do not recover, what if I get staph, which I found out I have lying in my nose,  what if I never see my children or grandchildren again, what if I never get to make love to my husband again..............the case of what ifs can really make you crazy!

So this morning I lay to rest the "what ifs" and get back on my knees, that has to be done through imagery, hehehe, and say God forgive me for trying to control it ALL again!! I truly mean it when I say I am not afraid to die but I do not want to die today, tomorrow or wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllll until I AM READY. I know, I have NO CONTROL over that but I sure do try. When you go into surgery  for a major operation talk about having NO CONTROL but the end results of this surgery makes me desire it more than the "what ifs."

Yesterday morning as I was reading my Bible I had a BIG revelation from the Lord. He said I spent to much of my life, ready for this, testing Him! I was floored because I know how dangerous the Bible says that is and I really, truly did not realize that was what I have been doing. It is almost like I play russian roulette with my Lord. I just know that He is going to give me the worse and when He doesn't I think ....well, the next time because I sure do not deserve all this grace and mercy and LOVE he caresses around me. So I start the what if game with the Lord all over again. Let me give Him another scenario and see how this one works out? So this morning while pretending I am on my knees I repent, turn and say let us start all over again BUT this time I will NOT test YOU and allow YOU, Lord, the driver's seat. He must be laughing because He knows how hard this is for me but I know as I prepare for tomorrow that I MUST trust Him and know what ever the outcome, "there is hope for my future" (Jeremiah 31:17) either here on earth or on in heaven. No matter what there will be JOY in the morning! Life is just to darn short for all the "what ifs"...............

Prayers are appreciated!

"For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations." Psalm 100:5

In His Grip,

Debby...
Wife, daughter, mom, sister, friend and most of all a child of God

Just odds and ends...........as it snows!

Guten Tag,

I will not be able to say that much longer. But as it snows outside and I drink my coffee I felt like writing.

I wanted to say I have almost 200 pages of my book done. So this time here has been good for for than one thing. I still am not clear where God wants me to go with this but I will keep writing and see what happens. I am not done I know that. At first I was really, really disciplined and than I began to fizzle out, ha. We shall see what happens once I am home. I will have plenty of time when I am recuperating.

The picture was taken on Christmas Day at Peitro's Cafe down the street from St. Peter's Basilica. We found this prime spot and settled in to watch the Christmas morning come alive in The Vatican City. As we sat there the Christmas Day Parade of Caribenari Police marched right in front of us. It was amazing because they had their dress uniforms with plumage and all. I got a great video of this. They marched right into St. Peter's square and announced the Pope for his Christmas Morning Blessing. We had to much caffe, to many sweets and enough fizzy water to float away but what a wonderful Christmas memory. As we sat there people we knew from the tour would stop and join us for awhile, get up and someone else would stop and have caffe with us. Lennie said he felt like we were holding court, ha!

Lennie and I celebrated our 38Th wedding anniversary the next day. I really must say it has gone so fast. What puts it in perspective. Lennie's mom died when she and Lennie, Sr had only been married 37 years. I am not ready to give this man up and I understand now when Lennie's dad said, after Anna died, I did not have enough time with her! He continues to this day, after 24 years, he still talks about her with tears in his eyes!

Let me tell you about our best Christmas gifts. We received 3 photo albums made by very special people. Sarah's and Tom was all handmade and just just beautiful. Carrie's and Sondra's were made by shutterfly or blurb, whatever, and of the memories they both shared with us while we lived here in Germany. What cherished books they have become already and have been looked at at least a dozen times since received! I love homemade gifts they are the best. Kevin and Casey taught our family this. They have given some of the neatest gifts that have come the heart and mind of their creativity as a family. What more does a 61 year old lady need? Hey....the last season of MONK...ha!!! I missed it. I have not said so far how blessed I am .........I am blessed:)

Well, it continues to snow and snow. The village looks like a fairytale and it is very, very quiet. What is so funny our landlord has shoveled not once or twice but three times already today. The other day I went to the store and as I came back he had a hand vac in the bus stop cleaning it! German's they are truly an amazing group of people. I shall miss them. Tomorrow I go get my haircut one more time by Sondra, my hairdresser. It seems everyday I am saying goodbye to someone else. She has been a real blessing to me. She cuts hair amazingly well. She was a gift from God because if my hair is not looking good I am not doin good!!! This morning I ran over to get some fresh brotchen and my friend's in the backeri asked if this was the day, I said no, and I would be sure to say good-bye. They have been rays of sunshine to me as I have gotten to know them. Lennies' good-bye last night was very nice and I think I had the best schnitzel I have had to date. The gravy was delicious! They said all the things I knew about Lennie. What made me so proud of him, how many of the officer's said he had become their mentor, and did hope it could continue even as he leaves. In His office he and his boss had a joke between them that they lived in the Land of Pooh. Last night I met them all...Eyore, Piglet, Pooh, Rabbit, Roo, Tigger and .. Owl...my Lennie...I could have told them that! I love my Owl!

I said enough for today. I will settle in and read a book a friend recommended. Have some lunch and wait for my "wise old owl" to come home so we can start packing!

I am baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Guten Tag,

Not many more days in this country and I am feeling bittersweet. I am ready to go home and back to my friends, family and routine of life and most of all Church!! I have missed my church family beyond measure. I have missed, almost as much, fellowship. God has given me such a wonderful group of friends in Leavenworth and I am so excited to laugh, play, pray and worship with them again!

My heart begins to ache when I think that when I get home that just down the street and around a couple of corner's there will not be a family of 9 that I so love. But thank God Lennie will be home and my heart will not ache near as much when I have his arms and shoulder's to lean upon. God has shown me there are many other's that need Lennie's and my love and so God here we are. Only 6 more days and we will be in literal paradise loving and enjoying those nine precious people. We will take each moment given to us. We shall take every hug, kiss and conversation given to us in those 10 days we are with them, and make them last until we see them again.  Yes, bittersweet, but that is part of this journey called life. We have no complaints. I was just thinking today, God forbid something happens to our plane...one way or the other we will be HOME!

I am so glad I came to be with Lennie. It has been a joy and like a second honeymoon. We never imagined we would have this opportunity and that is why we ran with it. We have loved being in our little nest and just being free to do what we want to do, when we want to do it, and just relaxing and seeing things new and old. Literally in every sense of the words.  It has been a special gift from Heaven and we thank God everyday for this time we have had. I know Lennie would stay if I did not need to have my next knee replacement. In a marriage there is give and take and He said it is now his time to give. I thank Him for that because I am ready for this last knee to be new again!! I want to run, at least in my mind, and not have any pain! Ha! Hey, have I said it enough...I am blessed.

I say this often because I do not deserve any of this. I am would be a fool if I thought any different. The love and mercy that God has shown me in this walk down the road called life truly humbles me and brings tears to my eyes. ME....God are you sure...He is ....He does not make mistakes. I read in Spurgeon yesterday how when we think the light is out in our hearts...God can still see it ...why...He IS the Light and He put the Light there.........that gives me hope and courage.........that He knows me so much better than I know myself, especially when I walking wounded. This past month I was wounded by words. Words that I only can forget by running to God almost everyday and saying take this from me! I must remember that I am a creation of the Potter and all cracks can be repaired, ha! amen!

I do not know if I will be back on before I leave. We have much to do, but if it is going to snow a foot, than maybe I will have plenty of time, ha! Tomorrow night is Lennie's going away. He will be missed. I do not think I know anyone with a better work ethic other than my father and Lennie's father. They wanted to give him a gift....nope....he cannot receive gifts, it is a "rule" and so with Lennie it is about integrity...his boss could not understand it but Lennie just said, "boss this is something I cannot do with a peaceful heart." That is my Lennie. God knew what kind of man I needed one to keep me walking the straight and narrow. Someone who would put up with me for 38  years. I just hope we will have 38 more. Those are things that only God knows. But one can wish, hope and pray about.

I have rambled enough. Did I say, I have been blessed? :)

Tshcuss,
Debby

Cold, Cold Monday in Heumaden...............

Guten Tag,

One month from today we head home. It seems like it was only July and I had arrived. I had awaited that day for so long. Where does time go? I waste so much time. God has revealed that to me as I have set here with Him for these past few months. I am so excited about going home via Hawaii...I just cannot wait to see those 9 smiling faces. To sit and watch them...what joy! But I plan to make the best of these last 30 days here in Germany. I pray I will come back again someday but that is only for God to know and I thank Him for giving me this time. I am truly one blessed human being and even in my blahs, like I am having today...I know what the blessings I have been given.

I learned something along time go. When I ask someone how they are I REALLY want to know how they are? I use to say nothing when asked this question but nowadays I tell the truth and boy is is interesting. I must say most of the time people on the whole do not want to hear about you...they say oh that is to bad....and continue their conversations mostly about themselves. What if God did this everytime we went to Him? I also learned along time ago, there is NO way we bother God. He loves it, He cherishes those moments we come and want to be with Him and Him alone. That is one of things He has been teaching me as I have spent a lot of alone time here in Germany. Most of the time I have squandered on myself and some pretty lame things. I could say that is human nature but I will not allow myself that excuse...it was just pure laziness and I suppose I did not want to hear the truths He was trying to teach me. He is always trying to teach us something else...I learned that along time ago,too.  I have manipulate my life for me most of the time and that is something God has really managed to show me these past few months. I am at the best time of my life and have so much time to give and give of myself and my time. I have one friend, Karenn, who I absolutely admire because she ALWAYS has time for someone else and their needs. She has such heart and is such a servant. She has set a good example and I pray I can be more like Karenn...NOT...be Karenn that is not what I am saying...just like what she shows me with her life.

Today is cold, very cold, very cloudy and it is 4:10 and almost dark. It will be dark until 8AM in the morning which makes for very long nights. Tomorrow night we are going to go down to the Christmas Market for dinner. Not many more opportunities for these kinds of outings. I am sitting here drinking Christmas Tea and listening to Mannheim Steamroller ...love them... think I go now and have some more time in the Word before Lennie gets home....

Tschuss
Debby

I miss them.......................

Guten Tag,

Each day the heart is growing more anxious to spend some time with these sweeties. I miss them more than words can say. Not only these three sweeties but David, Jacob, Elijah and Malia who we hardly know. Lennie and I have been so blessed by family. We have had so many wonderful Christmas traditions through the years that sitting here in the land of "Christmas" it seems very, very lonely because what truly matters is not here. Thank God I have my Lennie and that is number one but everything else seems so unimportant.

It is time to make gingerbread houses, make and decorate Christmas cookies and get sick from eating to much icing and sprinkles. To sing carols and go into KC to Crown Center and eat lunch where are meals are delivered to us from a train on its on choo choo train track. Traditions...they are so so important. When I grew-up and left home I remember the first Christmas I had by myself in San Francisco, as different from Warsaw, Indiana as you could get. I spent the day on the beach and we decorated a tree limb with shells and seaweed....we made the best with what we had..ha. But I was miserable because the traditions I was use to were not there. That day I realized what really mattered was that you are not alone and you begin to share in other traditions, not just your own.

Through the years we spent more time in desert climate than "winter" climate for our Christmas's. That did never stop us from keeping our traditions even putting the air conditioner on one Christmas morning so it would be really really cold, anything to make it feel cold.. What is interesting this kind of climate was more familiar with my children than cold and snow! We got that only when we went home to Nebraska or Indiana for Christmas. Boy do we have some memories from some of those trips but that is for another day. So many of the girl's traditions come from those two places ...Grandma Anna's and Grandma Jane's....so many of things we still do today come from the memories of those two ladies. But my memories come mostly from my Mom and Grandma Burkhart...oh now those two ladies knew how to do Christmas.

I guess today I am feeling a bit homesick and am desiring the familiar. I not only miss my family but I miss my friend's who I also have traditions with. Lord, today I thank you for all the precious and wonderful memories of tradition I have been given. So I turn on my Christmas music that I have recorded from itunes and CBN radio, fix me a cup of Christmas Tea and meditate upon the many blessings of Christmas I have been given.

Christmas love,

Debby